I keep thinking about how much I need to quit smoking, right? Then I have a day like today, with customer(s) like I had today.
Caribou started a new loyalty program called Caribou Perks. You get a card that we scan, then you register it online. You don't have to even keep the card, you can check in for your *perks* with just your phone #. All good right? Especially since they ran a pilot program in select markets to work out all the bugs.
Well, it launched on the 2nd of January and we're signing people up left and right. Working hard to get everyone on the program, although *all* we can do is give them a gift card that has been activated and *they* have to actually go to the website or call the 1-888 number and finish the process. We can't do that for them. WE DON'T WANT TO DO THAT FOR THEM.
So today, we get a butt~load of customers that have their cards and signed up and are getting emails/texts that they have a free medium drink or a free size upgrade and oh, about 50% of the customers that come in ... the perk doesn't work.
I'm calling the IT department and comping drinks left and right and sometimes just saying "Sorry, the system seems to be having issues, your drink will be $5.00."
Life sucks, but we *are* talking about a fucking Mocha or a Latte. Not life ending cancer or losing a child or a parent or an arm or a leg. Buying a drink like this is a goddamn privilege that most people can't afford.
And then this cunt comes along.
I don't use that word lightly. I don't use it at ALL. In fact, every time I've tried to type it, I've misspelled it.
But this woman? IS A FUCKING CUNT.
Her name is Debbie. She gets a medium dark chocolate, skim, decaf, less chocolate, non fat whip, no bean mocha pretty much every day. And even though SHE KNOWS THAT WE HAVE HER DRINK WRITTEN DOWN ON OUR 'REGULAR CUSTOMER' WALL - she fucking INSISTS on telling us her *perfect* drink instructions every damn time she comes through the store. Drive Thru or In House. Every. Fucking. Time.
Annoying enough, but not end of the world shit. I can live with that, otherwise I couldn't work in *this* business. Along with the part about her *ALWAYS* asking at the window - "IS IT DECAF???"
Every. Single. Fucking. Day.
So now we're at TODAY.
She comes through the drive thru, orders her fucking precious mocha. My DT grrl asks her if she has her Caribou Perks card with her so she can check her in (to get more points).
Debbie: WTF is that? (okay, she didn't say WTF, but you get my drift.)
Holly: *Explains Caribou Perks, offers to give her a card and says that the first!perk is a free medium drink.*
Debbie: Um ... when did this start?
Holly: January 2nd! Can I get you started?
Debbie: *FLIPS THE FUCK OUT*
Holly: *runs from DT window with terror in her eyes*
Me: *goes over to DT window and asks what the problem is*
Debbie: WHY THE HELL HASN'T ANYONE TOLD ME ABOUT THIS!!! I COULD BE GETTING MY FREE DRINK TODAY!!!!! WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE????!!!
Me: *would be concerned if this was a person that I haven't seen in three different, very expensive cars for a year, buying a damn mocha every fucking day and 1) never tipping my people, 2) always on her cell phone, 3) never donates when we have promotions that have included a donation partners a) a domestic violence shelter, b) a women's clinic, c) a veteran's hospital 4) has been a condescending, hateful bitch since the day I met her.*
Me: I explain the Perks program again, that it just started, offer to set her up with a card.
Debbie: THAT IS NOT GOOD ENOUGH!!!! I COULD HAVE POINTS EARNED ALREADY!!! I WANT THE POINTS I SHOULD HAVE HAD SINCE THE 2ND OF JANUARY!!!! (seriously. She said this. To me. Like Snow = Caribou Corporate.)
Me: I can't do that. But I can get you started TODAY.
Debbie: IT'S ALREADY THE 7TH OF JANUARY. THIS IS NOT GOOD ENOUGH. I HAVE A STARBUCKS REWARDS CARD. I WILL JUST START GOING THERE INSTEAD.
oh please, please, please, please. would you? please?
Finally, I just offer to comp her drink. Ask for her credit card so I can reimburse her for her purchase today.
Debbie: I DON'T HAVE TIME FOR THIS. I'M IN A HURRY!!!!
Me: *?????Really? Then what the hell are you doing fighting with me?*
Me: (really) Okay, your next mocha will be free then.
Debbie: Fine. I'll be back on Thursday and my drink will be free. *drives off*
Me:*stabs self* *a lot* *more* *can't bleed enough for this bitch*
Actually, what I did was curse *way* too loudly, (sorry to all my lobby customers) all the way back to the storage room where I sat down, texted tabaqui that I hate EVERYONE IN THE WORLD, and tried not to have a stroke.
Debbie? IS. A. CUNT.
In much better news,
I'm on my first all week vacation starting the 12th.
I'm headed to tabaqui's house on the 13th.
We'll be watching Show together for the first time on the 14th.
I will be getting a new tattoo from Cat.
I won't be back to work until the 19th.
I applied for a year round job at Yellowstone Nat'l Park back in November and they have not only emailed me twice, they called me yesterday and want to talk to me.
Year. Round. Job. In. YELLOWSTONE NAT'L PARK.
I'm totally gonna quit smoking this year. I really am. Especially if I'm going to live up in Montana.
in a camper.