Snow (sweptawaybayou) wrote,

  • Mood:

Dear Customer ...

who came in at seven a.m. and wanted 72 donuts out of our freshly filled donut case ~

Yes. I will let you use 1/2 sheet cake boxes for them. I will even put the cake boxes together for you.

Yes. I will stop doing my markdowns and put on a pair of gloves and help you rape take pretty much everything out of my donut case. Yes, I'm sorry that you ordered 72 donuts from some bakery in Kansas City and they didn't deliver them to you.

And yes, I will have to stop helping you for a moment when the buzzer goes off on my oven and I have to take out my baking bread. Before it burns. And yes, I'm going to step back and let another customer take my place so that THEY can get a donut or two from the rather quickly dwindling amount on the trays and get off to their work/school/home.

AND YES, my donut fryer is going to be a little bitchy not smile when she walks out of the bakery and sees just *how* many donuts you're taking from her case. All at once.

Yes, I will apologize for her growly face. Yes, I will help you count up all these donuts you've taken and told me to take from my once beautifully filled donut case.

Oh, look. We have 9 dozen instead of 6. 108 donuts instead of 72.

No. No, dear customer, I can't put them back. Especially the ones that you, since you're not wearing gloves, have TOUCHED and smashed and put in these boxes.

Yes. Yes, you will be buying all 108 of them. Yes, your money is as good as anyone else's money. I know that.

And Thank You for starting my day with a pissed off donut fryer and an empty donut case. Thank goodness it wasn't a Friday, a Saturday or a Sunday. for acting as if you were doing me a personal favor by coming to my bakery instead of Wal~Mart. As if Wal~mart would even HAVE 72 or 108 donuts in their tiny pastry case. And their prices are higher than ours.

You know what would make me really happy, Dear Customer? If next time you ordered donuts ... you called US FIRST. Then you would not get stiffed. I would have them all ready for you *before* you needed them and our other customers would not have sad faces and bellies empty of sugar for the rest of the morning.


Sincerely without much love at all,

Your smiling-through-clenched-teeth Bakery Manager
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