Michelle was stamping around her register like a mad thing. She had reduced her bagger to tears, and he wasn't one of those cryers.
"She hit me in the balls with a jar!" he complained, smoking in the back.
"Well, at least it wasn't a glass jar," Manager David said. He had bummed a cigarette from Snow, but absent-mindedly put it behind his ear when Mark had staggered dramatically outside, clutching his groin. He still had it behind his
ear when he sighed, and went up front to see what was up. Mark groaned until someone gave him a chair and a cigarette.
Actually, Mark had got a lot of attention, doing that. Nearly as much as Eliza had received, stalking in with a loose-hipped swagger and enough mascara as to make Tammy Faye weep with pride.
"Hope you had a good time off," Jules had said. She was determinedly not looking at the bakery door.
Eliza stretched, showing off her navel ring. "Succulent," she said.
Snow shouldered her aside, bringing out cookie trays. "The only thing worse that Eliza when she's not been laid, is Eliza when she's been laid."
Eliza laughed, and went to the cash register. Snow and Jules began filling the plastic trays.
"So," Snow said. "What's happening in the Jules end of the sky?"
Jules bit her lip. "We're regressing to high school."
Snow raised her eyebrows.
"We just sit in our cars and smooch. Then we go home and we talk all night."
Snow just stared at her. "At least tell me there's phone sex."
"No! I mean, oh, yeah, naturally----"she trailed off. "I have a crush. I hate my life."
"I hate my life," James groaned to David. "Chris is going to kill me. I can tell. He's just waiting."
David was checking the wine inventory. "You have me confused with someone who gives a rat's ass." He crouched down to remove an old price label from the bottom shelf. "Seth's right," he muttered. "Gotta stop stocking this cheap shit."
"That redneck's going to waylay me and kill me in some way that can't be traced back to him," James said, undeterred.
"If that's all, I promise to phone in a tip to the homicide cops," David said, standing back up. "Don't you have doughnuts to fry, bakery women to romance?"
"Isn't there an opening in Deli?"
"Oh, because Greenwalt and Larry went to Acupulco?" David asked kindly. "No. Don't tell me you want to get away from the icing and the dough and the smashing people's heads in with baking trays?"
James frowned at him. "Like you give a rat's ass if I'd knocked Chris' head off."
David's left eye narrowed. "Oh, I mind when the fucking cops get called to my store, all right."
"I've got to go make doughnuts," James said, and left.
"Weird that we haven't heard a word," Snow hissed to Jules.
"Weird that no one's put any money on it."Jules raised her voice. "Hey, Eliza! What's the odds on Michelle and Nicky?"
In a voice rich was satisfaction, Eliza looked over her shoulder. "Oh, it's running against. Evens are lengthening into odds. Heh."
James materialized in the bakery. "So, Larry and Greenwalt havegone to Mexico," he said. "Pay up."
Eliza pulled a ten out of her breast pocket and put it on the counter. "There y'are," she said sweetly.
James scooped it up, staring at her with suspicion. "What's with you ?"
"Hey, baby, I just feel goooood."
"Clean up on six," someone said in a panicky way over the loudspeaker. "Manager to six."
"Whoops," Eliza said innocently. "I guess Michelle is having a bad day."
Snow waved her icing gun. "Okay, you are so busted. We saw his car at your house!"
Eliza didn't blink. "Sure, Nicky and I went clubbing."
"Nicky doesn't club," Snow said.
"So we went to the midnight madness sale at TruValue," Eliza said.
Customers came up then, and the inquisition had to be abandoned. But Snow and Jules could hear Eliza's phone beeping as she was being texted.
"What's with her?" James asked, under cover of the frying doughnuts. "Why's she being all coy? It's just not right."
"We'll have to investigate further," Jules said. "We can stake out her place!" She and James locked eyes.
Their next shift at the bakery.
"So, how'd the stake-out go?" Snow asked, as she and Jules walked in together. "Find out anything about Eliza?"
"Uh, no," Jules said, uncomfortably.
Snow stopped dead. "NO!" she squealed.
"Uh----" and Jules began grinning.
"Everyone's getting laid but me," Snow wailed.
"Oh, honey, I'm so right there with you," Andy said, walking in past them.
This is *so* not supposed to be a biography.
Went out last night! Sushi!! *does the happy dance of SUSHI!!*
Lori came home from school yesterday wearing two leis around her neck. She said that her entire lunch, plus the school principle had sung her Happy Birthday. Okay. It is a very small school.
I turned to Lisa and said "Look. Lori got laid twice at school today."
Lisa laughed. She has my sense of humor.
Almost done with part 2 of Best Laid Plans. Lord. Those boys are fun and hurty and so very, very sexah.
Happy Friday to everyone!!