Snow (sweptawaybayou) wrote,
Snow
sweptawaybayou

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Demerits

In the world of Romance, one single rule applies: Make the woman happy. Do something she likes, and you get points. Do something she dislikes and points are deducted. You don't get any points for doing something she expects. Sorry, that's the way the game is played.

Here is your guide to the point system:

SIMPLE DUTIES:
You make the bed...........+1
You make the bed, but forget to add the decorative pillows...0
You throw the bed spread over rumpled sheets.....-1
You leave the toilet seat up......-5
You replace the toilet paper roll when empty.......0
When the toilet paper roll is barren, you resort to Kleenex.....-1
When the Kleenex runs out you use the next bathroom.......-2
You go out and buy her extra-light panty liners with wings.........+5
In the snow...............+8
But return with Beer............-5
and no liners.........-25
You check out a suspicious noise at night..............0
You check out a suspicious noise at night and it's nothing........0
You check out a suspicious noise at night and it's something.............+5
You pummel it with a six iron.....................+10
It's her cat........-40

AT THE PARTY:
You stay by her side the entire party.....0
You stay by her side for a while, then leave to chat with a college
drinking buddy.........-2
Named Tiffany...............-4
Tiffany is a Dancer..........-10
With breast implants.........-18

HER BIRTHDAY:
You remember her Birthday....0
You buy a card and flowers.....0
You take her out to dinner......0
You take out to dinner and it's not a sports bar....+1
Okay, it's a sports bar.....-2
And it's all-you-can-eat night....-3
It's a sports bar, it's all-you-can-eat night, and your
face is painted the colors of your favorite team.........-10

A NIGHT OUT WITH THE BOYS:
Go with pal........0
The pal is happily married...+1
The pal is single.......-7
He drives a Ferrari..........-10
With a personalized license plate (GR8NBED)....-15

A NIGHT OUT WITH HER:
You take her to a movie......+2
You take her to a movie she likes.........+4
You take her to a movie you hate....+6
You take her to a movie you like.....-2
It's called Death Cop lll.......-3
Which features Cyborgs that eat humans.........-9 (except for me, I'd get an +2. Snow loves that kind of movie.)
You lied and said it was a foreign film about orphans........-15

YOUR PHYSIQUE:
You develop a noticeable potbelly.....-15
You develop a noticeable potbelly & exercise to get rid of it......+10
You develop a noticeable potbelly and resort to loose jeans and
baggy Hawaiian shirts.........................-30
You says, "It doesn't matter, you have one too."....-800

THE BIG QUESTION:
She asks, "Does this dress make me look fat?"
You hesitate in responding..........-10
You reply, "Where?"...-35
You reply. "No I think it's your ass."..............-100
Any other response........-20

COMMUNICATION:
When she wants to talk about a problem:
You listen, displaying a concerned expression..........0
You listen, for over 30 minutes.................+5 (It should be +100)
You relate to her problem and share a similar experience.............+50
Your mind wonders to sports and you suddenly hear her say "Well,
what do you think I should do?"..........................-100
You have fallen asleep............-200

IT'S "THAT" TIME OF THE MONTH:
YOU TALK.............-100
YOU DON' T TALK..........-150
YOU SPEND TIME WITH HER..........-200
YOU DON'T SPEND TIME WITH HER...........-500
YOU SEEM TO BE ENJOYING YOURSELF........-1000

GAME OVER......YOU LOSE!!!
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